This coming weekend is homecoming for a couple of local high schools. My grandson will be in the marching band for the homecoming parade and football game. It’s an exciting weekend for him.
I am remembering the years that my daughters participated in homecoming at their high school: decorations for the dance, the flag team, powder puff football and the homecoming dance.
It was also a stretching experience for me as mom. When I was in high school I did not attend school dances and had limited participation in school activities. My family attended a fundamental Christian church that believed dancing was a sin.
My husband and I chose to guide our girls in school activities. Homecoming can be a memorable time in high school, learning about relationships. Some things I did well, and some things I could have done better. Always learning.
The most important piece was communication, and more communication. I wanted to know about the plans and the boy escorting for the dance. My daughters weren’t always pleased all the questions and advice. But when I was driving my younger daughter to events she was stuck in the car. She couldn’t get away and had to listen to me.
Years later she has thanked me for the conversations and advice.
As homecoming approached we had to find dresses. We had some boundaries for price and modesty. It took lots of shopping to find suitable dresses.
My daughters always went to the dance with a group of couples. They took pictures together, had a meal together and then went to the dance. The group setting took pressure off the couple—they were just learning about dating.
Underlying all the advice, I hope I the message of loving concern love was clear. My husband and I set boundaries because we did not want them to be hurt. We let them know when we expected them home.
The final instruction that we gave them: if at anytime they were in an uncomfortable situation, they could call us. We would come to pick them up with no questions asked.
After my girls finished high school and went on to college I continued to learn about issues in our culture and the confusing messages about sexuality. (A parent never stops learning!) One daughter went to Marquette University and was introduced to the theology of the body—taught by Pope John Paul II. We discussed the theology of the body at home and the sacred bond between a man and a woman in marriage.
These discussions helped steer my daughter to a healthy marriage.
Through one of my daughter’s friends I became aware of a group that is pushing back against the policies that are harmful to women, Women Speak for Themselves. In 2016 I attended a conference in Washington D.C. I am convinced that Christian women need to have a voice about sexuality. We have a positive message as we share God’s design for men and women.
You can check out the website for Women Speak for Themselves here.
Hello, Carol! Visiting from the FMF Facebook page. 🙂
I love that you had your kids do group dates. My husband and I don’t have children yet, but if we discern that it’s God’s will and timing for us to adopt, we’re both firm on group activities during high school. Young men and women absolutely need to learn how to interact with each other, but we both know, from experience, just how fast rational thinking can be blocked out by raging hormones. Good job, Mamma!
Marie, thanks for visiting!
I agree with you that a parent never stops learning. I have a daughter 19 and a son 15; they are both on the autism spectrum so their experiences as teens are a bit outside the norm. But they need to be guided in these areas as well; it’s challenging. I definitely need God’s grace and wisdom for these times.
The teen years are a special challenge–but God is faithful to hear our prayers and give guidance. May God bless your dear family, Jeannie!
Raising girls isn’t easy! We have two beautiful daughters, and the advice you gave your girls sounds similar to what we gave our daughters. We allowed them to go on dates–but not date exclusively until college (we did make an exception with our eldest daughter, but we had strict guidelines that the couple followed).
So true, Anita. We are constantly learning as parents and need to pray for God’s help. Have a blessed weekend!
I love how you were intentional about having open conversations with your daughters about these things- that is so important!